'Ode to Mother's Day 05/13/2012
 I am a naughty, naughty blogger! I know, I know, I’ve been absent and you’ve all hoped, I mean wondered if I’ve given up on blogging. Nope, just been mightily delayed! I’ve come back today to give you my ‘ode to Mother’s Day. This is the wonderful day when we are given all sorts of delightful homemade cards, coupon books that will never been redeemed, 15 pound homemade necklaces and all sorts of crafts out of popsicle sticks. I’ll be honest with you, in the last 12ish years that I’ve been a mum I really haven’t liked the day. Wait, wait, don’t spit and boo at me yet, let me at least explain! I love all of the cute gifts made from the heart, they’ve been wonderful, even if they become weapons of guilt trips in the months to follow about why I’m not wearing a necklace or why I’m not using a drink holder or coin jar. My dislike is about the actual day. Not unlike many of you, I work really, really hard 363 days a year (I’ve taken out this day and of course my birthday) to make life as pleasant as possible for my spouse and children. I do yucky, horrible things for them all year (laundry, cleaning, cooking, board games) and spend all “extra” time running them around, volunteering for their schools, or different projects they enjoy. So with this in mind, I awaken every mother’s day just positive that my family will have a horse drawn carriage waiting outside to take me to a gourmet breakfast in the park while a maid has been employed to clean my house and prepare freezer dinners to feed my for the next few months. Then of course while they are all at church I’m just sure I will be whisked away to a spa to be pampered for the remainder of the day in quiet with a good book Okay, so it hasn’t been all bad. These last couple of years now that the kids sorta get it, it’s been okay. Today I was awoken to the sound of Bubba crying because the chocolate chip pancake he made for me wasn’t as pretty as he hoped. (And yes even though pancake batter that sits all day is as hard as concrete to get off, I’ll clean it off the stove and counter tomorrow with only a partial grumble as I know he made me breakfast out of love.) I do enjoy being able to say “Are you really going to do (fill in the blank) and ruin one my special day?” This by the way works on not only children but on husbands too! I’m learning to remember that Mother’s Day is just a day, not a direct report card as to my skills as a mother. And I’m learning to be more specific in my gift giving requests. I’d like a t-shirt please that DOESN’T have any Disney characters on it worked! Instead I got a t-shirt with a bulldog in a baby swing. So now that it is 7 P.M. I’m going to end this as I only have a few more hours left in clear conscience to be able to say “Out of my room, it’s time out from mommy, remember?!” Again, this works on husbands as well as kids. Happy Mother’s Day! 1 Comment He caused a pain in my brain! 03/11/2012
 My wonderful children get an “extra chore” assignment every day. I give a different chore according to my needs of the day (and sometimes based on how naughty they are that day!!!) One day this week I didn’t feel well and Ethan was out for the evening doing his church calling. Bedtime came for LouLou and I really didn’t want to read her bedtime and scripture stories. I gave Bubba the extra chore of reading to her. He choose to read to her a potpourri of Dr. Seuss books. I think something in his mind snapped! I woke up the following morning with papers tapped ALL OVER the house! Our house had become his own version of “There’s a Wocket in my Pocket”. These are examples of what I discovered on my journey throughout my house: Thureau in a Bureau Zable on the table Zelf on the shelf Woset in a closet NoothGrush on my toothbrush Jertain in the Curtain Geeling on the ceiling Zlock behind the clock Ghair under the chair Yottle in the bottle Zamp in the lamp Yeps in the steps Bofa on the sofa Nupboards in the cupboards He says that I still haven’t found them all and more are come soon! Oh the joys of children… Dreaded case of the C's... 03/04/2012
I am so sorry that I haven’t updated in an embarrassingly long time! I have to admit that I caught a serious case of the dreaded C’s… Cuisine Creating Clutter Collecting Commanding Cub Scouts Curriculum assisting Cleaning Constantly Chauffeuring Carpool Critiquing homework Coordinating piano and bass lessons Commentating on basketball games Cash Controlling Corralling remodeling ideas Caffeine Chugging and Cookies Consuming Calamity diverting Canceling New Year’s Resolutions Cold Catching Chapter reading Celtic Clan researching To summarize: I caught a bad case of, well…life! I’ll be back next week! Sorry folks... 01/30/2012
Sorry all, but this is a blog free week! Come back next week for more exciting blogging AND updates to reviews and recipes! Thanks for your patience! Three Blind Mice 01/23/2012
 If child protective services were to enter my house, it is possible that they would consider taking away my children in fear of someone have masochistic tendencies. I HAVE BODY PARTS STREWN AROUND MY HOUSE! Seriously, I wake up in the morning and never know if I will accidentally step on a wet leg, arm, ear, eye ball. But before you rush for the phone to call the police, let me assure you that the perpetrator will give herself away because of the “fluff” hanging out of her mouth! Our one year old puppy, Lizzy, is a nut job!!! I’m sure that you all know that dogs like to chew, but puppy’s LOVE to chew. Trust me, we know this, in our six years of dog ownership we’ve had cords chewed, couches ruined, toys, shoes, you name it one of the two dogs have probably chewed on it. I’m known to say “If the kid’s don’t destroy it then the animals will!” When getting our dumb puppy a year ago we knew we needed to buy things for her to destroy, I mean, chew. We found the cheapest way to go was the dollar store and buy dog toys there OR EVEN their kid’s stuffed toys! You can’t go wrong, she gets to chew on something you’ve pre-determined, and I don’t have to spend too much. Her strange neurosis started with the dollar store children’s toys. Literally within one minute of having a toy should would rip out the eyes…then simply stand up and leave the toy alone. If she didn’t have anything else new to play with, she may eventually come back to the item a day or two later and then rip a hole in it and pull out the stuffing. I must admit, it was a little creepy to be finding eyeballs strewn around the house…and stuffed animals blindly “starring” at you through holes in their heads. Eventually she began to also rip out any whiskers or ears. JellyBean started taking pictures of the said animals because she found it hilarious!!! A new more disturbing tendency started this December. During our annual friend’s White Elephant Party we actually got a rather useful gift! We got a HUGE bag full of old stuffed toys! My kids all looked through and grabbed a few to keep, and then the rest have been slowly given to the dumb puppy. Ever since she got these toys, she has been ripping them apart…one body part at a time! Have no fear, she still goes for eyeballs first, but then she will rip off a leg, then an arm, maybe half of the body…and then she gnaws on it and will leave the wet, slobbery body part laying around to be discovered by your bare feet later! Hmmm, maybe as part of my New Year’s Resolution to write a thank you card each month I may include a body part….very creepy idea….sounds like fun! 
Reading Addiction 01/16/2012
I really like to read, maybe too much! I have fallen in love with two websites. The first is www.goodreads.com . This site is a little like Facebook for us more nerdy types. We go on, we can ask people to be our friends and then we talk about, well…books! We get to read all sorts of book reviews, mark each book we’ve read, want to read, or currently reading. We can follow authors and learn about books coming out usually before the rest of you (unless you are stalking an author’s website or blog.) We also get to give our “friends” suggestions, make comments on any of their book reviews, or see what books are keeping them up late. This site really isn’t as boring as I’m making it sound! Go ahead and try it…I’ll even be your friend! The next site is another free site to join but does require you to fork over money if you decided to play along. It is www.paperbackswap.com . This site is for those of us who love books, or are given books or buy books and then decide we really don’t want them anymore (I’ve been known to buy duplicates at the D.I. thinking I didn’t have it but I really did!) What you get to do is simply add the IBSN number from the back of the book and it walks you through the rest! This book will be listed on your bookshelf and anyone can request it from you. Now in all fairness, if you are the 32nd person to list a Harry Potter book, then it will go through all 31 people until it’s your turn to send your book. But then you take your requested book to the post office and pay $2 or $3 postage and mail the book to another member. When they get it they mark it on the website as received. Then YOU get a credit to get a book you want from another member! I have personally received around ten books varying in topics from Children’s Fiction, Regency, Medieval, and Science Fiction Fantasy. If you’re tired of your books and want to try new ones, this is a great place to play! "Fine" Arts Ratings 01/08/2012
 We purchased some tickets for our family for Broadway Across America’s production of Mary Poppins at the Capitol Theater. Ethan and I had seen this show on Broadway and we assumed that it would be as amazing as it was on Broadway in New York. We took the whole family and enjoyed the show despite a few minor changes, mostly to the scenery, which would have been hard to replicate from the original Broadway production. While we were there Ethan and I saw advertising for Season Tickets to the coming season of Broadway Across America shows. We talked about it and decided that it would be a great opportunity for us to enjoy the “fine arts” with our family. We purchased 3 season ticket packages, one for the two us and one so we could take one of our children on a date with us. Ethan spoke with the representative and she said that the season tickets included: The Blue Man Group (great to take Bubba to), South Pacific (great for JellyBean), The Million Dollar Quartet (which none of us wanted to see but she assured us we could swap the tickets to see Wicked instead), and then Beauty and the Beast (great for LouLou to see). The tickets finally came and Ethan called in to swap The Million Dollar Quartet tickets for Wicked. The phone representative said that was NOT a possibility and all of their representatives knew that and basically accused us of lying. We were very disappointed, but since we had a good experience previously when we took the kids to see Mary Poppins we thought that it would all be worth it. First came Bubba’s turn for our date to the Blue Man Group. They spent more time with computer effects than music, and a good five minutes of one song went through all the different name variations for someone’s bottom. Good thing that Bubba still finds potty humor hilarious, because it got old really quick for me! Overall it was an entertaining evening. On Tuesday it was JellyBean’s turn to go with us to see South Pacific. I had her dress up (including wearing high heels) and told her that this is what you did when going to see the fine arts. On arrival we noticed signs warning about cigarette smoking and the use of fog machines. Okay, no big deal, we were up pretty high anyway. Our expectations were high until the show began. I was ready to leave within the first five minutes after listening to Bloody Mary’s continuous yelling of “Cheap Bas….d.” Unfortunately we were in the middle of the row and surrounded by older people. People on the aisle in front of us left after about 15 minutes of listening to the constant profanity that began with the curtain rising and never ended by the time we left. The sexual innuendo was out of control (especially during the song “Nothing Like a Dame”) and I could only hope and pray that my 12 year old didn’t get most of it. I was really looking forward to the “Wash That Man Right out of My Hair” song as I have been singing that song to my kids ever since they were babies when I would wash their hair. I couldn’t even enjoy it because right as the scene started, two different men ran out of the showers in the nude showing their bare back sides! I was shocked and disgusted that I had spent the money to bring my child to a PG-13 play! The final straw was the sex scene before the intermission. I looked at Ethan and we turned to Ellie and said we had to leave. She said “umm, yeah, this isn’t very good.” I hadn’t seen the movie since I was a young teenager, but I really wondered if I remembered the movie incorrectly. I thought it was clean considering the timeframe the original story was written. I went and got a copy from the library. Nope, other than the occasional “Darn” during a song, there was no swearing, no innuendos, nothing…only really cheesy fuzzy lighting during the songs! Feeling guilty, we took JellyBean for a piece of pie afterwards. My wonderfully insightful husband said, “I want you to take this ticket stub and put it somewhere where you will see it and let it be a reminder that if Mom and Dad are willing to walk out after spending $120 on a play because it’s inappropriate, then it is okay for you to walk out of a $12, $7, or even a $1 movie if it’s inappropriate.” I’m now a little nervous that the Beauty and the Beast show will have been changed to some transvestite striptease show and I’ll have LouLou with us! Hollywood has a rating for movies, so we can make a consciencious decision if we are going to see a movie or a TV show, why does the “Fine Arts” not need to as well? They are concerned enough with physical health that they have warning signs about fog machines, why are they not concerned about our moral health as well? We will NOT be renewing our season tickets, and for those of you that are concerned for your own high values, I would recommend that you not attend these anymore either. 2012 Un-resolutions 01/01/2012
 #1--I resolve to make sure that my children co-ordinate their clothes before leaving the house every day. Nope, that won’t work. I need to give the other mom’s something to giggle and gossip about. (See evidence in photo.) #2--I resolve to lose weight. Not that one either. What would I do with all of my super warm and fuzzy sweats and sweatshirts? #3--I resolve to quit drinking Dr. Pepper. Maybe not that one, I wouldn’t want to make an entire company have to shut down because of me! #4-- I resolve to do laundry more frequently. Naw, then that just ruins my #1 non-resolution. #5--I resolve to clean my house regularly. That wouldn’t work! What would I do with all of the extra time I didn’t have to spend looking for lost bills, homework, shoes, etc. #6-- I resolve to quit eating out. And miss out on McDonald’s salty goodness French fries, I think not! #7—I resolve to be a crazy coupon lady. Well, I think that that goes back to having a clean house so I can find the coupons once I get them. So, I suppose I’ll have to skip that one. #8-- I resolve to take the dogs on walks every day unless it’s cold, raining, snowing, windy, overcast, sun shining. #9--I resolve to take a multivitamin everyday this year. Thinking for an excuse…nope, I think that one is a keeper! #10--I resolve to read 100 books in the year 2012 ( http://www.bookchickcity.com/2011/12/sign-up-100-books-in-year-reading.html ). Umm, I think that one is just asking for a divorce. #11--I resolve to read my scriptures ALONE daily (as in not with the family because we already do that), even if it means not reading a novel….my throat is constricting….aside from the current physical discomfort I feel, I think I can do this one. #12--I resolve to write a thank you note once a month to someone (taking the idea from one of my favorite books “Not My Type” by Melanie Jacobson—see my book reviews.) Oh great, now you will all think I’m sending you desperation thank you cards just to fulfill my resolution. Maybe I won’t do this one! (Wink, wink) #13--I resolve to go on a monthly date with my husband. This will work as long as it’s not on the same night as any of my favorite TV shows. I need to keep up with what is going on in the entertainment world so I can bond with others over the water cooler! #14--I resolve to write in my blog weekly if YOU resolve to read it weekly. Not that I’m pressuring you, but this one depends all on YOU! #15--I resolve to not be a sarcastic smart aleck this year…too late! Merry Christmas to all... 12/25/2011
Truth in Vinyling? 12/18/2011
 This time of year most of us are thinking about our family. Some of us are pondering our great love for them or wondering how we managed such crazies in our family’s with the same DNA running through us; some are wondering what gifts to give or how much cash Mom will give us this year; and some of us may be questioning the legality of offering our kids to Santa in exchange for super cool electronics. That isn’t me of course, I’m just saying… This Spring I was forced (I mean I was able) to go to a convention down in Provo for the annual Utah PTA Board Training where I was showing my love for my kids in the form of volunteering on the PTA Board. While driving to the BYU campus I sat in construction and at traffic light after light and had nothing better to do but look at other people’s cars. Now I realize that many of these cars were also visitors to the area, but I noticed that many of the cars had the back window decorated with some type of vinyl family figures stickers. (See my example photo…this is NOT my car!) When these first started showing up a couple of years ago, I thought “Oh, how cute!” But after a little while, they started to get sillier and well, slightly ridiculous. Families wearing Mickey Mouse hats, families on motorcycles, family’s surfing, chubby families, stick figure families, families including pets, you name it, there is probably a decal with it. My personal favorite for hilarity is the skull and crossbones with the wives and daughters wearing a bow on their skull. Really folks, if you’re bad to the bone enough to pick the skull and crossbones are you really going to be silly enough to put a vinyl sticker in your window…and ones with a bow? How many Hell’s Angels motorcycles have you seen decorated this way? I mean, come on! As I was FINALLY driving home from Provo and continued to see these decals I thought of the PERFECT decal that made me giggle almost my entire way home. That may also have been the euphoria of finally having escaped Provo and all of the ultra-warm and fuzzy PTA Moms, but my idea was this: What if you had a window decal of one lady and she is surrounded by a bunch of cats! How funny is that! Anyone could have this one on their car, I’m pretty sure that there is no window decal law stating that there is truth in vinyling! So you never know, after Santa makes me a Christmas swap, maybe I’ll put this on my window…  | AuthorIam HILARIOUS...or so I tell my children regularly! I am a horrible cleaning lady, an okay social organizer for all of my 'peeps' activities, but I make AMAZING cookies! I love my family...especially when they all leave to school or work and I'm alone with the 2 cats, 2 dogs, 2 box turtles and my own imagination!  These are my Peeps! Ethan, my wonderful husband, JellyBean--my 12 year old daughter, Bubba--my 10 year old son and LouLou--my 6 year old daughter (yes, yes, names are changed to protect their identities...like I'd REALLY name them that!) ArchivesMay 2012 |
