Being younger than Moana I got to learn a lot of important things either by her wise counsel or by flat out eavesdropping on her conversations with friends/boyfriends. For example, NEVER bite your fingernails or snakes will grow out of the top, per a friend’s experience, never buy a solitaire wedding ring because the diamond will fall out in the wash, if really tight levis won’t zip up then lay down and try, date as many guys as humanly possible (but never let your little sister alone with them or she’ll tell you what you really think of them), it is possible to drive a bright purple Ford Pinto around town and still keep your dignity, and the number of flaws your diamond has is how many flaws your marriage has.
Somehow during my teen years (not sure if this was again thanks to her influence), I had decided that the size of your ring determines what type of “cow wife” you’d be. I was going to get the biggest, bestest ring EVER because of course I am a ten cow girl. That was until sixteen years ago when Ethan told me that he wanted to pay cash for my ring and if he didn’t have enough money, then we’d have to wait until he did to get married. Wait, what? These things require money? I’m sure my smile froze on my lips, but I WAS getting married! He told me his price range and I looked around at settings, and finally decided on the dreaded solitaire BUT I got to pick out my diamond. Oh, it was SO pretty with only two itsy, bitsy flaws! (Somehow I think that diamond flaw vs. marriage flaw comment was just a joke between her and another sister…hmmm.)
A couple of weeks ago I looked at my ring in church and whispered to Ethan “I need to get these prongs checked on.” Neither one of us thought anything about it again until, later that week. I went to go to my kid’s school to volunteer and while putting my hand in my jacket pocket my ring got caught. I looked down and my just two itsy, bitsy flaws diamond was gone! I looked everywhere, called Ethan to come home and help me continue to look, and later told the kids I’d pay them if they miraculously found it. After Ethan had taken apart the dryer and spent hours looking, he reminded me about our insurance and told me and the kids, “Blah, blah, YOU matter, not the diamond, blah, blah, eternity, blah, blah.” Okay, so he really was super sweet, but looking at MY diamond reminds me of those two dirt poor kids so much in love but so dang naïve. It wasn’t just “bling” on my finger anymore! I was still super bummed, so he googled ways to find a lost diamond and then spent hours that night outside with a super LED flashlight, came inside with the flashlight and FOUND IT! I know…how cool is he! It was at the bottom of our stairs where I had been sorting laundry. Prayers were answered and big kisses given!
So on this Thanksgiving holiday, let me share some life lessons learned: Moana, you can go climb a tree and stay in it because you are NOT ugly and we have matured enough not to tease you about it (well, most of the time anyway), solitaire diamonds DO get lost while doing laundry, and most importantly, just because you don’t have a ten cow ring, doesn’t mean that your husband won’t treat you like a ten cow wife!
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